The Power of Presence in Our Lives
When I reflect on the ICF Core Competencies, the one that resonates most to me is the power of presence. This is the one I focus on, and I try to improve every day.
There are several ways to define presence. For me, presence is about the ability to remain attentive, aware and fully in the moment, without judgment. In the ICF Core Competencies, I would particularly like to zoom in on the part of the definition that says, “Is present and flexible during the coaching process, dancing in the moment.”
Nowadays, our lives are full of “stimuli.” I find that I can be easily distracted.
Internally, it is easy for my mind to wander on its own. Even with active listening, from time to time, thoughts come into my mind, mostly relevant to the conversation, sometimes irrelevant. I’ve found what works for me is to write the thought down on a Post-It and let it go. It is then easier to refocus on being 100 percent present, as I know the thought is captured already.
There are so many external “stimuli” that it is difficult to live 100 percent in the moment. Think about how often we look at our phones, we feel an urge to access our messages, to stay connected. How often have you seen groups of teenagers, on their mobile devices, surfing the net, probably texting one another, or sharing pictures on Instagram? I am sure you have seen couples in restaurants, each of them on their own mobile devices, instead of talking to one another. In the younger generations, this behavior is aggravated by the fear of missing out. Teenagers are always feeling the urge to find out what they are missing while they’re actually missing the opportunity to live in the moment; it feels like they live their life “by proxy.”
I encourage each of us to discover what distracts us in our daily life. Recently, I did a little experiment. When I traveled to the ICF global board meeting in June, I did not take my watch. In the meetings, I was not distracted; it forced me to focus, to be in the flow and to contribute more fully. And as I was dancing in the moment, I can say that time did fly.
The power of presence is valid in all the roles we play in our life.
In our life as coach, we need to create deep connections. This is a special moment, a mental space where we are here for our coachee, where we are able to empty ourselves and dance with the flow. We can only do this effectively if we are able to focus our attention and are living 100 percent in the moment.
This is also relevant for executives. To be a “steward” leader, we have to focus and take out the clutter surrounding us. With active listening, we will be here fully for the other person(s), offering direction and support.
In our life as parents, when we are at home with the family, it is easy to have the TV on, to multitask and to miss opportunities to connect with one another in the moment. Being present is what makes for “quality” parenting. I am sure you know it when you experience it, and you can easily see and feel the difference.
I hope you would agree that being in the moment is all the more critical in the 21st century, as we are continuously surrounded by distractions.
I hope this article acts as a good trigger to make each of us reflect on what prevents us from being in the moment and that it is a good reminder of the power of presence in our busy lives.
I would like to finish with this quote: “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it is called present.”
Best regards,
Valerie Robert, ACC
Valerie Robert, ACC, has more than 30 years corporate experience in HR, Manufacturing, Sales and Marketing. She currently serves as the Chief HR Officer for the global company Nestlé Skin Health, and prior to that, she was the Chief Human Resources Officer for Archroma, where she led global HR and corporate communications. She has also served as HR VP for Firmenich’s global commercial divisions and corporate talent and as an HR director for Procter & Gamble (P&G). At P&G, she created the organization’s global coach-training curriculum and led the organization’s Global Executive Coaching Practice from its inception. Valerie holds an MBA from France’s EDHEC Business School and is a graduate of Harvard Business School’s Women on Boards program. She speaks fluent English and French. Valerie is a 2019 ICF Global Board Director.
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Dear Valerie, thx a lot for this great Article!
Greetings from Jessica Wahl, Coach Berlin
Thank you so much for your positive feedback
Valerie, thanks for the update. I appreciate the pep talk about presence. Would it be possible in a future board update, if we could hear a candid assessment of what’s working and what’s not with our association? As a longstanding member, I don’t feel we are adequately informed about the performance of our association. It feels as though everything we get is the ICF is sunshine, unicorns, and rainbows. I find this hard to believe. What’s working well? Where are gaps? What’s not working well? What are the problems? What are the opportunities? Perhaps I’m the only one curious about this — but as a member of a membership association, I’d like to know more about the operations of the association. The annual report feels like a marketing piece as opposed to an authentic, candid assessment. It makes me question the authenticity of ICF management and leadership and how it operates and communicates.
Christopher,
As you know we are starting a new strategic plan and in this context, we are reviewing where we stand, what is working, what is missing and what is possible.
When we are ready, we will communicate the direction for our future which will take into accunt this assessment.
Kind regards
Valerie
Valerie, thanks for writing back. Glad to hear you are starting a new strategic plan. This is the first I’ve heard of it. Increasing the member value proposition is extremely important. Here would be some questions, I’d hope you’d consider: 1. Should we have more than just non-white directors on the ICF Foundation board of directors — and if so, what steps need to be taken to remedy this lack of diversity? 2. What measurable choices should be made to amplify the demand for coaching by the association? 3. Is the association getting its money’s worth from Association International? What are Associations International strengths and what is its weaknesses to meeting the needs of the association? 4. Is the association getting its money’s worth from Stanton Communications? 5. What impact does the Do It Yourself world we find ourselves living in have on the future of coaching and how do we address the issue of “self-healers?” 6. Are association communications meaningful, transparent, and authentic? Do communications engage our members or do they keep our membership disengaged? 7. How engaged is our community? How do we measure membership engagement? 8. What global partnerships need to be created to create greater demand for coaching? 9. Are the biases present in ICF global board director competencies discriminatory? Is our Code of Ethics strong enough for global leaders and those offering educational programs? Should coaches who’s primary niche is new/emerging coaches be offering CEUs (which all too frequently feel like sales offerings)? Is the ICF education department’s standards appropriate or do they need to be raised? Thanks for your follow-up. While I appreciate your pep-talk on presence, what I really want to hear from those of you elected to serve on the global board and represent our interests is what’s working and what’s not working. You are there to represent us and be a catalyst. We need to be informed about what’s going on with our associations and what’s working and what’s not working. This is your role and why i voted for you.
Thank you for “Transmitting with Simplicity” powerful reflections
Thank you Angel, I am glad you enjoyed the reading and I hope this gave you addiitional insights
thank you for Valerie Robert
My pleasure, enjoy and make the most of the present moment
Valerie, I’m glad to hear you’re beginning this process. Last year, several of us volunteer leaders invested months of our time serving on the 2016 Global Work Group Committees. I co-chaired the Communications workgroup. Every single one of the recommendations that came out of this committee have been ignored — recommendations that were intended to bring more transparency, engagement, and authenticity to ICF’s communications. To say this is disappointing is just the beginning. With the exception of Magda, Don Whittle, and Michael Burgess, I have found the vast majority of the staff to be non-responsive — particularly the communications, research, and marketing team. They don’t get it. Please remind them they work on our behalf — not the other way around. Best, Chris
Thank you Chris for volunteering to co-chair the Communication workgroup.
I appreciate your involvement and your caring about ICF and our mission.
It is clear that our members’ contributions make a difference and help further enhance the coaching profession. Thank you
Thanks Valerie, but respectfully, I don’t need your acknowledgement. What I need (and what our members demand) from you is Leadership. As a global HR executive, you must acutely understand having the right talent in the right job at the right time is critical for any organization to achieve success. I trust that you will hold Association International accountable and if they can’t bring their “A game” to delivering excellent services for our members to find a global management company capable of doing so. ICF member dues should not be wasted on mediocrity. We need a staff that is going to wake up everyday passionate, engaged, responsive to the needs of the membership, and ready to help advance the art and science of professional coaching. Our work in this world is too important to leave to chance or excessive mediocrity.
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