Making a Big Life Change? Get Closure First
Some life transitions feel more positive and less challenging than others. A group of researchers looked at why this might be in an effort to help people find a good start to new transitions, such as a new job, relationship or home. They found that we’re more likely to have positive feelings about a new life transition if we’ve had a well-rounded ending—or, feeling a sense of closure and that we did all we could do—with the previous phase of our life.
“We observed that how people end their previous life periods makes a difference. In fact, the more people feel that they have done everything they could have done, that they have completed something to the fullest, and that all loose ends are tied up, the happier they are later on, the less they are plagued by regrets, and the more constructively they enter the next life phase,” explains Gabriele Oettingen, senior author of this study and a professor in the psychology department at New York University.
The researchers intended to find out if and how the way people end a previous life phase influences emotional well-being and the transition into a new beginning. They conducted seven studies with more than 1,200 participants, and they found, across all studies, that those who reported well-rounded endings also reported positivity, little regret and an easy transition into their next phase in life.
Some studies asked participants to report their thoughts and feelings surrounding a specific life transition. For example, German high school seniors who perceived their end of high school in a well-rounded way reported feeling more positive about starting a new life, showed less regret toward unfinished business during school, and more productively coped with the challenges of adulthood than those who did not see the end of this life phase in the same way.
Other studies tested the value of well-rounded endings. Participants were asked to read fictional stories about people who face foreseeable endings, such as moving away from their hometown. Participants who imagined these endings in a well-rounded way, such as throwing a good-bye party, felt more positivity and less regret than those who didn’t imagine well-rounded endings. They also did not feel compelled to think about or act on missed opportunities.
Researchers also found that a well-rounded ending can potentially improve cognitive function. In one study, two strangers would get to know each other in a 10-minute Skype conversation. In one version, researchers told the participants when they only had two minutes left and that they should end the call in complete, well-rounded way. Another version of the experiment ended without any warning. Those who received the two-minute warning performed significantly higher on a subsequent test that measured executive function skills, like selective attention and cognitive flexibility, than those who didn’t receive the instruction.
“Ending the various phases in our lives in a well-rounded way seems to be an important building block for sustaining emotional, interpersonal and professional happiness,” says Oettingen.
Lisa Cunningham
Lisa Cunningham is a freelance writer and social media consultant. She holds a master’s degree in professional writing with a focus on web content development from Chatham University and a bachelor’s degree in English writing and communication from the University of Pittsburgh.
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